Am I just playing games?

The question of “simply playing games” in session has emerged repeatedly in my conversations with clinicians. I’ve had many fruitful discussions about the actual, underlying purpose of bringing games into the therapeutic space. I wanted to consolidate some of those ideas and share them more broadly here, because it is time to put some of that self-doubt to rest.

I get it. Sometimes after an entire session of playing Uno or Jenga, you are left wondering, Did I actually do anything therapeutic? The answer is a resounding Yes, you did! You are not just a babysitter playing a game with a kid, you are a clinician. Those clinical skills don’t just go away because you’re not engaged in talk therapy. There is an intentionality that you bring to your “play.”

I get that you’re high achievers and want to implement all the things you’ve learned about in school. Please know that you are doing more than you’re giving yourself credit for, because intentionality is the engine of intervention.

Think about it: what are your favorite, most enduring memories from college? Where did you truly learn about yourself, your boundaries, and how to navigate the world? Was it sitting in a lecture hall? Or was it doing something with fun friends? Going to a football game? Partying? Taking a road trip and cramming way too many people into a single hotel room? Play, perhaps?

Kids learn through play because play hits us differently than conversations do. It engages the body, often bypassing language barriers, and leaves a more visceral, longer-lasting imprint. This is why children attend play-based preschools—that environment is the natural laboratory for learning about the self, other people, relationships, and the world. Doesn’t that sound exactly like the skills we are trying to help them build in therapy?

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In your “play” you are

• Creating a safe space
• Providing a forum to test boundaries
• Practicing how to take turns
• Giving examples of what is within a locus of control
• Demonstrating how to lose, gracefully
• Allowing a client to become an expert or teacher
• Celebrating wins
• Consoling someone who doesn’t do well
• Following directions
• Demonstrating cause and effect
• Challenging maladaptive behaviors
• Modeling prosocial behaviors
• Providing respite from the rest of the world
• Allowing them to be a kid, when sometimes they don’t get to be
• Providing an environment to practice when things do not turn out the way they want/expect
• Creates a focus of a shared goal (for co-op games) and teamwork

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Considerations to play

Is the game an intervention, or is it a vehicle to drive our conversation forward?

• Am I simply observing behaviors or am I intervening?
• Does a client feel more at ease to engage in talk therapy if there’s a game to focus on?
• Do we break up the session to dedicate time to a game and to talk therapy, separately?
• How might I tailor the game to be more therapeutic?

Should I let my client win?

• What is the reason for referral?
• Are they used to winning?
• Would it be better to start with a co-operative game, where you and the client work together to win the game?
• Are they cheating to win?

I get what you’re saying, but with one client, it really just feels like we’re playing games. Therapy typically starts light with rapport building and games, it tends to end in a similar fashion. If you find that you’re not getting much non/verbal content out of your sessions, it may be time to consider whether therapy is still appropriate. If games played a big part in your therapy, you may consider including “prescribed fun” like a family game night in your discharge plans.